By Oluwatoyosi Adegunle
In a world with imperfect beings, mistakes, misunderstanding and costly assumptions are not far fetched in human relations. How we attend to these natural occurrences can make or Mar the idea of a relationship with someone. The word ‘dialogue’ is coined from two Greek words, ‘Dia’ which means ‘through ‘, and ‘logos’ which means ‘words’. Overtime, dialogue has proven to be one of the most effective means of conflict resolution in all spheres of life.
William Monogamous (ND) said, “dialogue is used to reveal not what we’re trying to say, but what we’re trying to hide”. There’s always a word or thought we have about someone, that we always want to sweep under the carpet, which is not too healthy. The trouble with much of what passes for communication these days is all crosstalk. Much of the time, we’re not even listening to each other, simply because we chose not to.
Unapologetically, we don’t really know how to engage ourselves in concrete conversations, because we lack interpersonal communication abilities. If there is a problem, don’t just look at it, look at the reason behind the problem and attend to it. However, dialogue is not an opportunity to manipulate, disrespect, and lavishly throw tantrum of words at each other, but an opportunity to make things better. To be able to dialogue:
- First of all, be less defensive
- Be a good listener
- Be able to express yourself through words, not muffles and assumptions
- Remember to be very polite irrespective of your status.
- If you need to say ‘sorry’, do so without toppings of ‘well, I still think’, ‘No, I actually thought’, ‘what I’m trying to say is that’ kind of words.
We need to be able to overcome differences, find common grounds, respect and appreciate each other’s efforts, set directions together, and Voila! We make it happen.